Topical jokes: Saudi’s visit, spy scandal and North Korea

Topical jokes as the Saudi’s push a load of bizarre adverts about the Crown Prince’s visit, a Russian sphappy facey is murdered and Nortk Korea plans talks with Donald Trump. 

Not sure Priti Patel realises BME means Bastert from Middle England.

Don’t label me BME, says Priti Patel. Quite right. Instead let’s label you as useful-idiot-in-chief of the Porn’n’Perv Party.

So it looks like the Institute of Directors is being run by Ron Atkinson’s diversity consultant.

American media demands immediate retaliation against North Korea after Kim Jong Un fails to back up homicidal nutter image.

In North Korea they think of Donald Trump as a Wrong Un.

I have a great moneysaving idea – KFC CEO, Sep 17. I have doubled our costs for the exact same service.- KFC CEO, March 18

Somewhere in England there is a Kentucky Fried chief executive.

The problem with KFC is they have a huge kitchen but can’t fill it.

Nice for England’s women’s football team to get to meet some comedy cartoon characters on their US trip. But that’s enough about their new management team.

Panic at Tory Central Office as Boris Johnson says he will be celebrating International’s Women’s Day in Amsterdam.

Why are they advertising the visit of the Saudi Crown Prince? Normally they arrive using the World War 2 tunnel network.

Unpopular leader attempts to win favour using advert vans that get widely mocked? Remind you of anyone Theresa?

I wonder if these Saudi Crown Prince vans were allowed to have women drivers.

Are these Saudi Crown Prince vans the ones Theresa May used to stir up racial hatred?

Not sure there is much difference between England boycotting the World Cup and England being in the World Cup.

Boris Johnson proposes Irish border solution where a couple of Scousers say ˜calm it down” as folk stand in customs.

England could boycott the World Cup. Putin responds by breaking the world hi 5 record.

Boris Johnson will respond robustly if Sergei Skripal has been murdered. Putin would be more scared of Scrappy Dappy Doo.

It will be funny if it ends up that Sergei Skripal just had a dodgy KFC.

Police are only investigating Sergei Skripal thing because they can actually spell his name.

New party set up by disgruntled desperado who was rejected by all other parties. More on the formation of the Libdems later.

America espouses horror over child soldiers while arming its own schools.

Pink IPA is a beer for everyone…who doesn’t know Brewdog’s beer is actually not that nice.

Let’s explain the Italian election via the medium of pizza. The voters have gone for an old school Margarita, big no to foreign spices. But to form a

Large, someone’s gonna have to have spicy chicken.

Theresa May basically is a Margaret Thatcher statue, just with less personality.

Yes snow and ice messes up trains – unfortunately so does a bit of drizzle, breeze and mild sunshine.

Why the need for a Thatcher statue when we already have stone faced bitch in Downing Street.

Tags: ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Back to Top ↑

Cheap laughs! Get topical jokes straight in your inbox. Subscribe now!