Topical jokes: Brit Awards and Corbyn spy storm

Topical jokes including the Jeremy Corbyn spy nonsense and the annual music awards, the Brits. 

James Corden at the Brits

The Brits is a gathering of people who think Nathan Barley was a documentary.

For those of you who are unsure, the Brits is the annual gathering of London’s most annoying drug addicts.

Hello gurning cokeheads of the music industry. Personally I’d rather be carol singing with the Carlyle Group.

Nigel Farage has made more appearances in Question Time than the European Parliament.

Super Theresa May denies things are getting desperate as she reveals Brexit will be marked by giving away free Blankety Blank chequebooks and pens.

Tezza May seems obsessed with the colour of passports. Perhaps the Brexit one can have a bright pink away kit?

Chris Coleman is going to have a leaky washing machine soon.

The Daily Mail is kind of like an energy bar for racists.

Glenn Hoddle is like a live alt tag.

How will Chelsea cope with pace of Barca? Bout as well as they did with the pace of Burnley.

Fake news

In a sane world, the scandal would have been about how much Jeremy Corbyn has been spied on.

Fuck me St Mirren is trending and it hasn’t blown up which should be the only reason St Mirren trends.

The Tories are so angry about this Oxfam scandal. Which is why they have committed an extra £0.00 to safeguarding.

Trump v Oprah will make Wrestlemania look like a fucking UN convention.

Theresa May slapped a massive education tax on hardworking people. Now she/’s saying if yer studying Batman at Luton College of Knowledge you can have a discount.

Only reason to dope at curling must be for the boredom.

Government funded employees using hookers in war torn lands is so terrible that Armies actually encourage it.

Jeremy Corbyn says the imminent collapse of power sharing is a real concern. More Labour news later.

The Sun actually employs a team of fact checkers – to ensure none get into its Jeremy Corbyn coverage.

The Sun’s Jeremy Corbyn stories are always fully checked.

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