Topical jokes: Darts dumps girls, Silva sacked and UKIP

Topical jokes as darts dumps walk on girls are, Watford sack Marco Silva and the UKIP leader is in trouble. 

darts dumps walk on girls

Good luck trying to make the darts classy. Truck drivers coming on stage wi bowlers to Mozart may not catch on.

Walk on girls dumped off the darts. They should’ve swapped in men- can you imagine Phil Taylor’s face walking on with the Chippendales?

Lynch mobs used to be pretty scary. Today’s are feared but in truth they are less frightening than those foam spitfire toys.

Cases collapsing because social media evidence isn’t being disclosed.Sounds like trial by social media.

The bloodthirsty PC Left are making Paul Dacre’s neocon hit squad look positively amateurish.

Philip Hammond says he wants maximum access to trade with Europe – if only there was a union type thing which facilitated such requirements.

I’m hearing that the President’s Club has been offered a new home in Isis-controlled Syria.

Boris Johnson demanding an NHS cash boost is like big Jeremy Corbyn ordering extra nukes with angry face emojis.

Thank God Mark E Smith wasn’t on Twitter or by now some bottom-feeding Huffpo clickbait peddler would be trawling to expose his ňúproblematic’ views on crab fighting.

Cambo’s Brexit backflip

Brexit is a mistake not a disaster says David Cameron. So unlike voting Tory then – which is a mistake and a disaster.

The Krankies have gone favourite for Scotland manager if the SFA will pay their release clause from the Barlini prisoner entertainment scheme.

Scotland manager search going swimmingly – in that all the candidates are jumping ship.

Henry Bolton pledges to drain the swamp at UKIP – presumably to find that bit of paper with his ex’s number on.

Eugenie is getting married – one presumes that one will be online only.

Big Sam Allardicci denies Everton’s latest loan signing is the Bayeux Tapestry.

I suppose suggesting World War III has started is a pretty decent stab at trying to make golf interesting.

In 20 years, Parliament will criminalise booze, fags, burgers and swearing on the same day that Boots begins stocking cut price heroin.

“The story about 50 Labour MPs being deselected is completely UNTRUE.Sadly.

I’m told if Corbyn wins, Canary Wharf in its totality will actually rise up into the sky, fold up into a little square and leave Earth.

Watford plan to appoint Javi Garcia on a contract to 2020. Watford yet to clarify if they mean year or time.

The US state has been on shutdown since Roosevelt quit.

US state officials still desperately trying to get the shutdown averted. More news on Donald Trump’s brain as we get it.

Watford are sponsored by a computer game and they#re less realistic than one too.

Theresa May says politicians should not be held to account over idiotic things things they once said, after controversy over a now deleted manifesto.

Sunday Times reporting secret plot by allies of Jeremy Corbyn to deselect a load of MPs. Yeah, Tory ones.

Big Liz Truss only wants to represent disruptive businesses – well Carillion have certainly been pretty disruptive.

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