Topical jokes: BBC pay row, Virgin Trains and Trump

Topical jokes as the BBC pay row goes on, Virgin Trains gets a bailout and Trump enrages Africa. 

bbc

Cathy Deneuve calls Me Too puritanical. The PC Left’s enraged vengeance demanding response clearly shuts that shit down.

Meghan Markle shutting down her social media. WTF? Is she going to rename herself Anne Buckingham or some shit?

The liberal media are embarrassed because a bloody train company has taken stand where they never have.

Christ it’s all gone Godfather between Mourinho and Conte.

Funny but the Guardian not being on Virgin Trains didn’t upset the bottomfeeders.

The Daily Mail is basically a handbook for pre suicidal men.

Nigel Farage says we’re headed in a worrying direction. You’re lucky to be headed in any direction on Virgin.

Mail derailed

Censorship is being told what to think and do. Ironically that is kinda what the Daily Mail does.

Those warning that the Right will now try and suppress left wing media…that’s what they have been doing since forever.

Daily Mail dumped by Virgin Trains. A spokesman apologised for the delay and any inconvenience caused.

No doubt Peter Beardsley will be running Scottish football in a couple years.

FA to use Rooney rule – although I’m not sure the England team will see free access to septuagenarian hookers as a benefit.

Looking forward to Arsene Wenger falling out with VAR and trying to smash it up with a can of full sugar Irn Bru.

Worry ye not for Toby Young. You can run criminal hacking enterprises and be back earning more than everyone. So I’m told.

Mind the pay gap

Carrie Gracie sensationally quits the BBC in that Alan Yentpb way, aka she’s actually not leaving.

Thought I was watching Dancing on Ice but it was actually Arsenal trying to defend.

Richard Branson shouldn’t be bailed out. He should be on remand for his Great Trains Robbery.

Arsene Wenger picked a very weak Arsenal side today. And last week. And the week before that. And…

Johann Hari’s new book features an interview with the Great Gatsby.

So if Theresa May chops a tree down in her new forest will it make a sound? To be fair the

PM struggles to make a sound live broadcast interviews.

Westerners totally blase about Obama’s  murder drones while feeling entirely comfortable about being scared of clowns.

Theresa May is building a £5.7m forest. No doubt this will be where she will spend the entirety of her next election campaign.

Every senior parasite involved with Carillion should be getting doorstepped tae fuck. Sadly the BBC is busy figuring out how to triple Carrie Gracie’s salary.

Boris Johnson expresses regret over Carillion but says he didn’t really listen to their new stuff.

The private sector doesn’t do anything better than the public sector – apart from maybe screwing up.

The BBC’s pay discrimination is a disgrace, says people who claim the BBC is envied across the world.

Unstable state

The president is a mentally unstable racist. Finally Americans have someone they can identify with.

Trump calls countries shitholes – usually US leaders just make countries that by bombing them tae fuck.

Surgeons not allowed to burn their initials on to livers! It’s health and safety gone sane.

Donald Trump will one day end up in an embassy in London. But it will probably be the Ecuadorean one.

Donald Trump cancels visit to American embassy amid fears he won’t be welcome…at the American Embassy.

While liberal Twitter wails in pain for Carrie Gracie, the real world wonders how newsreaders get paid shitloads more than doctors.

John Humphreys is basically a poundshop Jeremy Clarkson.

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