Topical jokes: UKIP, Laura Kuenssberg and Donald Trump

Topical jokes as an obscure party full of racists relaunch as an obscure party full of racists while the media are so once again enraged by criticism of the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg.

ukip

UKIP have a new logo and we finally know what happened to the Essex lion.

And tomorrow Nick Robinson investigates claims that some plankton have been ganging up on sharks.

Theresa May takes a knee! Oh no wait it’s both knees and she’s crying – in Belgium.

As Carlo Ancelotti quits Bayern, the useless Arsenal board finally seize the moment – and sign Carlton Cole.

One minute Trump threatens nuclear war, the next he’s given Jong Un a nickname like he’s some div he plays 5-a-side with.

Stop saying Laura Kuenssberg is influential, says organisation which constantly says that she is.

Nick Robinson is not a journalist but a spokesman for the pantomime of power. Jog on now lad.

Centrist dads rock. They do podcasts with Bob Mortimer albeit via methods which may appear similar to kidnapping.

State of the MSM. Either raging at The Canary or printing false stories about Jeremy Corbyn from a tax exile with his own island.

Apparently it’s completely normal for BBC political editors to be listed to speak at Tory conferences. Was John Pilger down too?

BBC raging again

Laura Kuenssberg says Jeremy Corbyn was a man transformed. Wrong. What’s transformed is the media coverage.

Let’s be 100% clear. There is a sexist hate campaign against a female journalist – she’s the editor of The Canary.

Tomorrow on barrel-scraping with Piers and Suze, the Stay Puft Man on Grenfell.

Steven Seagal only got on Good Morning Britain because he is the only man who makes Piers Morgan look attractive.

What about the abuse Jeremy Corbyn gets? If Kuenssberg needs a bodyguard then he needs a tank.

David Moyes is so unlucky he’ll go on #CelebrityIsland and then be left behind on the last day.

David Moyes has the look of a man who somehow knows he will be sacked as Patrick Thistle kit manager in 2020.

US elections should be replaced by the Clintons and the Trumps guessing survey answers.

Donald Trump is a white buffoonacist.

Donald Trump’s aides suggest inviting Mark Sampson to the White House.

Wayne Rooney actually kneeled during the national anthem once but that was from a kebab.

Donald Trump only takes a knee if David Duke is in the room.

David Davis wants a practical upbeat Brexit. Jesus David – this isn’t like having a picnic with your nan.

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