Nazi surprise: Paul Hollywood jokes and George Osborne jokes

Topical jokes as photos emerge of Paul Hollywood dressed as a Nazi while George Osborne is accused of wanting to chop up Theresa May. 

cake

McDonalds workers using their early Friday finish to clock on early at KFC.

The way folk go on, you’d think James Dyson invented teleportation as opposed to an easy way to get rid of bits of fluff.

I think we should make a clean break with James Dyson’s opinions.

Concern over the Grenfell Inquiry as Theresa May agrees it can widen scope to investigate the Twin Peaks finale.

Do these Cologne nutters know they’re not in the World Cip final?

Scenes at the Emirates as it appears Robbie Earle’s been selling tickets again.

So the British Museum is preserving some prehistoric attitudes too.

Gleeful Nigel Farage says his asylum posters were designed to be understood by 16-year-olds.

Psycho Osbo

George Osborne comes into the Standard office, checks there is some May abuse going in and goes back to bed.

George Osborne hates Theresa May that much he might soon face a stalking investigation.

Roy Bodgson denies he is too old to be a football manager as he takes training in a shopmobility scooter.

Well Mark Sampson has made good on his promise to increase coverage of women’s football.

Bell Pottinger was renowned for taking on toxic clients who were racist and despicable…such as Bell Pottinger.

Well after Apple jacked in headphone sockets, am looking forward to the new screenless iphone 10.

Frank De Boer is to manage Chinese club Shanghai on a 112-day contract.

It is a results based business, says the chairman of Crystal Palace. Unless you’re the chairman.

Honestly Bobby Gould era Wimbledon would’ve been more tolerant of Frank de Boer.

Hype: Premier League changed English football. Reality: Dutch bloke suggests passing it and is sacked after a month.

Who would have thought De Boer’s Ajax tactics would not work on a team run by big Sam Allardicci? Fucking everyone.

They need to invert #CelebrityIsland and see if Bear Grylls can survive TOWIE, complete with Lucy M doing VOs saying what he’s doing wrong.

The time to worry about Nazi costumes is when they *aren’t* being used for fancy dress.

Photos emerging of Paul Hollywood being dressed as a Sun read – , sorry Nazi.

Jose Mourinho got angry because big Mark Hughes swatted him away like he was wee Ian Cathro.

Nazi surprise

Paul Hollywood devastated as picture of him dressed as Paul Hollywood emerges.

Paul Hollywood responds to Nazi costume controversy by telling folk to gateau over it.

We get more angry about Nazi costumes than Nazi policies.

Tony Blair interviews are a distraction from the problems this country faces.

Paul Hollywood devastated after pictures emerge of him talking about cake making like it is massively important.

Boris Johnson’s so stupid he thinks Prince of Wales is a camera shop in Cardiff.

As the Grenfell Inquiry opens, Boris is in the Telegraph demanding cuts to regulation.

It is totally wrong to compare Brexit to some sort of political bungee as there is no rope involved in this shit.

George Osborne may never get to dismember Theresa May but at least he managed it with our economy.

I’m not sure James Dyson realises that not all vacuums lead to profit.

I’m surprised James Dyson doesn’t realise bargain basement Brexit Britain win’t be able to afford binbags ne’er mind vacuums.

Trump calls terrorists’ ‘losers’ in the latest evidence that the world’s diplomatic system is Clueless.

George Osborne denies he is bitter and weirdly sinister, in a press conference of from the top floor of his new isolated motel.

Jacob Rees-Mogg is essentially the new leader of UKIP.

Facebook and the wider corporate media protecting us from fake news is like Arsene Wenger fronting a campaign to reduce excuses.

I bet you guests at George Osborne’s Friday soirees are checking their food proper carefully.

People say Boris is modelling himself on Trump. You’ll find it is the other way round.

The way folk go on, you’d think James Dyson invented teleportation as opposed to an easy way to get rid of bits of fluff.

I think we should make a clean break with James Dyson’s opinions.

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