England jokes and Prince George jokes

Topical jokes as Prince George starts school and England defeat Slovakia in their World Cup qualifier.

wembley

BBC to have three reviews into the equal pay issues they have known about forever.

Fifa insists football is corruption free as they announce Neymar is cleared to play for Qatar.

The Spanish League’s demand for financial fair play will cause panic – mainly in Spain.

Jacob Rees-Mogg does not support abortion, even for women who have given birth to Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Bloody Jovies been round, preaching about the final countdown again.

Bell Pottinger spread misinformation. Which is what they’re paid for.

The funniest reality show would be to get a group of celebs doing the things they claim to be famous for.

Lot of sour homos at this Lebanese fundraiser for bad spellers. It’s in poor taste.

Kate and William’s new one will indeed create jobs as they will now need another 14 servants.

People say US foreign policy is borne of complex game theory mechanics but I think it is mainly driven by watching Grant Mitchell.

Sanctions on North Korea is like ironing a squashed ant.

Jeremy Corbyn is bang on right about nukes – someone should tell him.

The way North Korea is acting you’d think the US is some mad state recklessly starting wars with robots. Oh.

Fifa would be more honest if it was run by the triads.

I think Clive Tyldesley must be watching a replay of the 1966 game.

What Glenn Hoddle thinks

Glenn Hoddle names his Vauxhall man of the match as Glenn Hoddle.

Glenn Hoddle thinks disabled people may have been Glenn Hoddle in a past life.

Glenn Hoddle does a really good impersonation of a dog and it is better than you think.

What does Joe Hart have to do to get dropped? Die?

Every time I see Adrian Molegate writing something down I think of Memento.

John Lewis move isn’t political correctness gone mad. But it’s proving most Daily Mail readersĀ  are mad.

My doctor has grown his hair really long and tries to sit on clouds. This is why you can’t let them play God.

The Europa League confirms it will not be taking Arsenal seriously this season.

Dull weekend. I tried to occupy myself by sitting in the garden with some placards.

If only there was a huge economic power reliant on the international economy who could talk to North Korea.

Arsene Wenger says Alexis Sanchez reassured him he was focused – via a Skype call from an as yet unidentified Weatherspoons.

RJ Mitte was fine with starvation and hypothermia on Celebrity Island – it was hanging out with the celebrities which sent him nuts.

How long before BBC journalists make up quotes about Jeremy Corbyn using Embrace lyrics?

I don’t work Saturdays so best job for me is football manager.

Nervous George wet himself twice and insulted numerous Commonwealth subjects. More news on the former Chancellor later.

Calm down everyone, Prince George is just a wee boy like any other. It’s just he can sit in the teacher’s seat and wee wherever he likes.

Prince George looks like he is out of the 17th century.

David Cameron gets a first edition Churchill book for his leaving gift. He was hoping for another dead pig.

Presumably PR watchdog having wee rest before expelling 96% of their members for misinformation.

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