Brexit jokes and Donald Trump jokes

Article 50 nonsense and more Trump carnage in this batch of topical jokes. 

brexit

Cameron tried to get Dacre sacked – just in case you thought we lived in a democracy.

Hey that Donald Trump is so dangerous he might embark on a series of reckless wars in an already unstable region.

UK economic strategy to offer free horse and carriage rides on Pall Mall like we’re some sort of dodgy rickshaw business.

Saying that you should fight a referendum result is sort of thing I expect from Donald J Trump.

Arnold Schwarzenegger says the travel ban is crazy and makes the US look stupid – much like Kindergarten Cop then.

Scientists confirm there will still be oxygen in Brexit Britain.

The Remain strategy is oppose the referendum result and leave Dynamo to figure out the rest.

Why is Keir Starmer accepting Brexit? Next thing he’ll be accepting the result of he general election.

Donald Trump now takes over as the world’s least popular American from previous incumbent Alexei Lalas.

Great chance now for world leaders to repeal their own racist laws and procedures. Hey guys…come back…where you going…

It’s going to be hard for big Donald Trump to combat fundamentalists when that’s his core vote.

Fears of Trump include manipulaton of data, lying and human rights abuses  Рso nothing out of the ordinary then.

GOP declares sanity the biggest public health threat in the US: https://t.co/fzJfxgZMLY https://t.co/zx4yF7JsLF

The way shit’s going Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin will probably end up joint headlining V festival. #BanTrumpFromTheUK

Love the idea that Harvesters are actually the only place left on Earth where slebs get privacy.

Posh and Becks spent a lot of time in Harvester car parks after a suggestion by his pal Stan Collymore.

Posh and Becks courted in Harvester car parks – which is the only bit of that business where you’ve a chance of eating well.

So Becks spent dates with Posh kissing in Harvester car parks – before then asking if they could spare any breaded shrooms.

The Tory party has finally got what it wanted. A white people first monoculture Britain fit for the 15th century.

Which world leader *has* criticised Trump? The President of Mothballshire?

At a stroke Donald Trump turns Guantanamo Bay into a national franchise service available at all good airports.

Super Theresa May’s claim that she disagrees with Trump undermined by the fact she did it Redknapp style in a decommissioned racist van.

Can you imagine the media narrative if the Corbyn team had handled #MuslimBan as horrifically as May has?

Donald Trump has just increased the risk of an attack in the US by around 5 million per cent.

It sounds far fetched but Ross McCormack used to be good at football.

Man elected to run country, runs country.

Ross McCormack’s gates were just trying to help Aston Villa.

So the Tories are going to cut and paste the single market – and then get Boris Johnson to add some racism.

Theresa May’s had this idea to have a big agreement with countries nearby so trade can be quicker and simpler. Isn’t that what we just left?

7k leave Labour since A50 vote to join the hokey kokey party.

Boris Johnson thinks Creationism is the teaching of Oasis lyrics.

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