Russia row: Donald Trump jokes and Tristram Hunt jokes

Topical jokes as Donald Trump continues his war with the CIA and Tristram Hunt quits the Labour party.

donald trumpDonald Trump getting hookers to urinate on him is the worst fake news ever. So probably true then.

Donald Trump meets Marine Le Pen in what is a hugely risky move, for Marine Le Pen.

Donald Trump to trial new torture methods such as getting Donald Trump to run a country.

Donald Trump was actually meant to be Vladimir Putin’s entry into Robot Wars.

Donald Trump will start a nuclear war to prove he doesn’t like Russia.

Donald Trump’s presidency will be a four-year golden shower on Americans.

Has Donald Trump named Boss Hogg his justice chief yet?

Hollywood stars lecturing folk from their mansions is probably what started this mess.

So first Trump is working for Putin, now he’s Putin’s mark. By next week,  CNN will be reporting that Trump is in fact Putin in drag.

So the BBC do a Trump photoshop on Corbyn while it’s the Tories lining up with a begging bowl at Trump towers.

The Russians have this tape of Donald Trump boasting about grabbing women’s pussies. It’s dynamite.

Tristram the Terrible

Look forward to Tristram Hunt’s first V&A exhibition on the ‘fashion icons of Blairism’.

Blairities agreeing to blow up their careers to crush Corbyn. Has Tony Blair promised them a load of virgins?

Tristram Hunt at the V&A after his stint at the Museum of Moderate Politics.

Tristram Hunt now on a hat-trick for jobs he’s got without having to do fuck all.

Tristram Hunt remains the only man who chose to parachute in to Stoke.

Another thing you can put in a museum is the V&A’s commitment to giving out job’s fairly.

Someone’s just parachuted into a museum. Fellow by the name of Tristram.

Looking forward to Tezza May at the Palace of Trump saluting his indefatigability.

Perhaps they can get David Attenborough to produce rare footage of a Blairite MP attending a job interview?

Obama giving Joe Biden some medal reminds of that time I gave my dog a biscuit.

There wasn’t actually anything interesting in Hillary’s email – which is probably why she lost.

“Millionaire clothing boss who supported Brexit now worried about his EU national staff. Theresa May’s response: Next!”

New Tory Brexit plan is leave the single market and then demand Europe gives us a daily backscrub ‘and it has to be someone fit’.

Suicide bombers up in arms as it emerges ‘virgins’ was actually just slang for free gym subscriptions.

Surely a matter of time before the Tories say the Red Cross is a threat to national security.

The hysteria over Jeremy Corbyn today – you’d think he’d suggested having a 48-team World Cup.

Jamie Reed quit Labour for Sellafield just to get a reaction.

Jamie Reed quitting politics for Sellafield. Well the guy is an expert in embracing toxic environments.

Labour in disastrous U-turn as Jeremy Corbyn goes from backing a cap on executive pay to backing a cap on executive pay.

These weird lefties who want to bottle it and run back to mummy should buy a onesie and a season ticket to a soft play centre.

Tom Hiddlestone probably doesn’t realise aid workers only watched the Night Manager because it was the closest thing they could get to porn.

San Marino now might get in the Euros, the World Cup and Boris Johnson’s new free trade region.

There are so many teams at the fucking World Cup now they’ll have to have a disqualifying process.

Big Jurgen Klopp says it’s vital to give his youth players the chance to shine – so he can ship ’em all off on loan to League 2.

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