Topical jokes: Fry deletes Twitter, X Factor and Jeb Bush

Topical jokes in the week when: Stephen Fry quits Twitter after a sexist joke; the X Factor sacks some people; Jeb Bush tweets a picture of a gun; and Cambo heads to Europe to beg.

stephen fry

Stephen Fry burned by the very pitchforks he is used to handing out.

Celebs express concerns that Twitter is no longer a free unconditional adoration platform.

READ:¬†POPE’S GUIDE TO TWITTER

Stephen Fry criticises people for insulting him on Twitter – as public insulting is only allowed for ageing presenters of film awards.

Story of a man who survived wilderness winning Bafta eclipsed by story of pussy twat who couldn’t deal with some online heckling.

Truly astonishing that many blacks in awe of Obama despite the fact he’s left the issue of police brutality to the Pulp Fiction guy.

I had no idea One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest was a documentary about what Republicans would be like in 2016.

What next for Jeb Bush’s Twitter? A picture of some dead schoolkids with the word ‘liberty’?

I see in one of these nutjob extremist countries, politicians are just tweeting pictures of guns.

The way his election campaign is going, Jeb Bush may find a use for that gun.

Cameron denies EU issue bores most people as referendum unveils sponsorship deal with Dulux.

Big jump in death rates. Finally some meaningful growth delivered by the Tories.

All this printing money backed by zero interest rates. Who knew George Osborne was such an admirer of Robert Mugabe?

Emma Thompson slated by UKIP for moaning about Britain. Isn’t that what they do ALL THE FUCKING TIME?

Clueless Kanye

Coldplay doing Glastonbury – which means Tim Henman’s probably gonna go.

The biggest issue for BBC3 was when it became shite only.

Horrified bosses apologise after mix-up meant Paul McCartney was allowed into the Grammys.

We continually underestimate Kanye West. I believe one day he will learn how to use a spoon.

Kanye’s beautiful ideas that he wants Mark Zuckerberg to fund include a ‘social network’ that allows people to ‘like’ each other.

Manny mistakes

Expect Danish fans to goad Man Utd by singing ‘you’re trying…and you know you are’.

Wayne Rooney feeling a bit smug after learning Paul McCartney didn’t get in to an exclusive granny party.

Manny Pacquiao reminding us all that Christianity is a religion of peace.

Spy phone users. Cut out the middle man and simply email all your thoughts, fears and passwords to the FBI.

FBI probably asked Apple to design the bloody iPhone.

Big Tim Cook to bravely repel FBI iphone requests until he’s removed all the porn off his own one.

You’re telling me Russia are carpet bombing from the air to force enemy submission? Who did they learn that from I wonder?

British Gas CEO explains huge profits: “People always getting cold, innit.”

Yevgeny Lebedev proving to be a brilliant media strategist as he turns a national newspaper into a wordpress blog.

Hey, we already have sugar free ice cream. It’s called salad.

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