Crack scandal: Rob Ford jokes, MPs expenses jokes and puns

Jokes as Mayor of Toronto Rob Ford admits smoking crack, MPs in the UK face anger for charging their heating to taxpayers and our latest bout of top class puns.

rob ford

Rob Ford: “Smoking crack is no worse than speeding…No not the drug Speed, I haven’t used that- Aw shucks.”

Rob Ford: “I am dealing with this.” Oh God he’s selling crack now.

Rob Ford responds to attempts to remove his powers by giggling and asking for a microwave pasty.

A crack smoking politician is almost as good as a sexting one. Pipe down critics.

I expect Rob Ford to go out on a big high.

In Scotland Rab C Nesbit is a television character. In Toronto, he is the Mayor.

They do have some cracking debate in Toronto.

MPs expenses

MPs pass many bills through Parliament – mainly gas and electricity ones.

Expenses rinsing MPs insist they’ve got principles…vouchers from the 1980s that they want to change into real money.

MPs doing nothing about global warming but really good on ‘their own front room’ warming.

MPs are fuelling unrest. And expecting us to pay.

Pun fun

Claims about Barack Obama’s birth are purely trumped up charges.

Just received rules for what you’re allowed to say in this free speech rally.

My diet is unrevelling.

Brazil might recall Roberto Carlos for the World Cup. Bit of a long shot that.

Switzerland getting to be neutral in World War Two…even when man was ready to destroy itself, money given total protection.

They still hate Lenin in Russia. God knows what they think about Yoko Ono.

Fed up of Post Office queues. When will this get sorted?

We need measures to tackle economy. Of whisky.

Richard Gere launches discount supermarkets in North Korea, called Dick’s Tat.

A number of non-Eu countries were asked to peg their currency to the Euro. They pegged it.

People say why didn’t I help my friend who died from asphyxiation. I thought he was just choking.

All jokes written by and copyright of Newsfox.

 

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